The Master Builder

Tonight was the first day of the UNBOUND Conference. David Batstone, the founder of the Not For Sale Campaign (notforsale.org), spoke about his journey, and about a variety of ways to get involved in the anti-trafficking effort. I was particularly struck by his emphasis on collaboration, and not competition, between anti-trafficking organizations.

His amazing and inspiring talk, though, left me with a lump in my throat. I literally couldn't breathe normally when he finished his talk. Why? Because I was starting to dream, like usual. I was starting to imagine myself in every possible anti-trafficking campaign. I was envisioning projects, activism, research, conversations, presentations, relationships, documentaries, airplane flights...and my head was spinning.

I left the conference. It had rained during the lecture, and everything had that fresh feeling, kind of like God spritzing the world like vegetables at the grocery store. I knew what I needed to do, and I did it with a sense of urgency (though I did stop at the store to get some carrots for my lunch tomorrow!). I dropped my bags off at home, pulled on my rain jacket, grabbed my phone and keys, and headed down to the lake. God was calling me to Him, to reflection, and to quiet my spinning head.

All semester long I've been learning about how everything I seek to do is fruitless if done of my own accord, of my own idea of what I should be doing to enact justice. I've written papers on how the ideology of doing good and serving others is dangerous because it takes us away from a foundation in God; I've written about how God is the only hope for the world; and I've written about how God calls us to live according to Kingdom values. I read, I learn, I write, I pray, I discuss, and yet the whole application piece is one I don't always do. Because it is very, very hard for me to throw off my intention to love others for God if that means I am not letting God guide and lead me on this journey. I so easily justify this with all of the brokenness and sorrow in the world. If I'm called to love others, then I should certainly be doing it, right?

Oscar Romero wrote, "I am a worker, and not the master builder."

My mom told me a few weeks ago, "Ellie, you aren't Jesus."

Let me hold the truth that I work for the King, that He is the guide, that He is the master builder, that He is so much bigger than any right intention I have.

And so, I realized, my ONE role is to seek Him. Through this, acts of service will spring forth, messages of hope will be shared, love will be experienced, transformation will occur.

I came home from my walk, able to breathe again. Looking forward to a full day of more UNBOUND Conference, I made some tea, threw my laundry in the washer, watched an episode of Glee, and enjoyed half of a very delicious, very slave-free, Hazelnut Crunch Theo Chocolate bar. A small movement against anti-trafficking that I am currently participating in. Let them increase as He leads.