Contradictions abound!

I want to help people and I want to be good to the environment. When these two goals come into conflict, I'm stuck. Do the ends justify the means?

I am driving about 100 miles a day at my internship. 20 miles there, 40-60 miles for appointments, 20 miles home. Yikes. When I'm driving, I try to think of alternatives for this set-up, but have yet to have any flash of genius. When you've just arrived to the country and are trying to get all of your appointments done so that you can try to have a normal life, the last thing you need to worry about is coordinating your schedule with 10 other families who are trying to do the same thing. How hospitable would I be if I refused to drive my car for appointments because I didn't want to release to much CO2 into the atmosphere?

And yet, does this mean that I drive and drive, and never try to neutralize my driving? No.

Let's face it; there are no easy answers.

I identify with Parker Palmer when he writes, "Contradiction, paradox, the tension of opposites: these have always been at the heart of my experience, and I think I am not alone." So true. It seems like the older I get and the more things I learn and experience, the more my heart and mind are faced with contradiction. But Palmer goes on to say that "perhaps contradictions are not impediments to the spiritual life, but an integral part of it. Through them we may learn that the power for life comes from God, not from us." I'm learning that it is in the place of contradiction that we realize how much we need God's guidance. That because there are no easy answers, we can't rely on ourselves to make judgements and decisions.

So, for now, I will recognize that although I am negatively affecting the environment more than I should, I am helping refugees feel welcomed, comfortable, and cared for.

And that wins this contradiction.